Archive for the ‘WORDplay’ Category

Lexophile – a lover of CRYPTIC words and word PLAY

A backward poet writes in re-verse.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

A calendar’s days are numbered.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France,
resulted in LinoleumBlownapart.

A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

A thief fell into wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Did you hear about the guy whose entire left side was cut off?
Well!!! He’s all right now.

He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger…
and then it hit me.

If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism,
it’s your Count that votes.

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

The geology professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard.
He did a number on it.

The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

We’ll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she’d dye.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

When you’ve seen one shopping centre you’ve seen a mall!

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

Thanks to MZ and���

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AKA Amazing; I am one of 55;
Interesting Reading; Only Great Minds Can Read This

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mind. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch taem at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can ! sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Such a cdonition is arppoiately cllaed Typoglycemia. Amzanig huh?
Yaeh and yuo awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.

Text thanks to D&V, J&B and PH…

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