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  • You’re not offended by the term “HOMO MILK”.
  • You understand the phrase “Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine,
    on the chesterfield.”
  • You eat CHOCOLATE bars, not candy bars.
  • You drink POP, not soda.
  • You know what a ‘Mickey’ and ‘TWO-FOUR’ mean.
  • You don’t care about SOME OLD American fuss with Cuba.
    It’s a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars and…no Americans.
  • You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.
  • You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
  • You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers (OLDER THAN YOU ARE).
  • You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.
  • You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
  • You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Peter Jennings, Michael J. Fox, Jim Carrey,
    Celine Dion & many more, are Canadians.
  • …that until 2003, the C.E.O. of American Airlines was a Canadian…
    AS ARE MANY MORE executives in the U-S-A.
  • You know what a touque is.
  • You’ve designed your Hallowe’en costume to fit over a snowsuit.
  • You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced “Zed” not “Zee.”
  • Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages,
    but requires 6 pages for hockey.
  • You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road work.
  • You know that when it’s 25 degrees outside, it’s a warm day.
  • You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
  • You know how to pronounce and spell “Saskatchewan”. (Sas-Kat-chew-wan)
  • You perk up when you hear the theme song from ‘Hockey Night in Canada’.
  • You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade.
  • Eh?” is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more polite than,”Huh?”
  • You actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all of your Canadian friends!!!!
    and then you send them to your American/foreign friends & family just to confuse them…further (hee hee)
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FROM: Canadian, eh – Canada Day 2003;

AKA: Canadian, eh; God’s Country Only in Canada, you say; Proud Canadians; Ten Cents;

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. For his first chapter he decided to write about American churches. So, he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would work his way across the country from South to North.On his first day, he was taking photographs inside a church when he noticed golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read “$10,000 per call.” The American, being intrigued, asked a priest strolling by what the telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to Heaven and that for $10,000 one could talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. Wondering if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando, and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.She told him that it was a direct line to Heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.

“O. K., thank you,” said the American. He then travelled to Indianapolis, WashingtonDC, Philadelphia, Boston, New York and Montpelier. In every church, he saw the same golden telephone with the same ‘$10,000 per call’ sign under it.

The American, upon leaving Vermont, saw a sign for Canada and decided to see if Canadians had the same phone.He drove for a while and finally arrived in North Bay, and sure enough, there again in the first church he entered was the same golden telephone – only this time the sign under it read, “10 cents per call.”

The American was surprised that and he asked the priest about the sign. “Father, I’ve travelled all over the United States and I’ve seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I’m told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in every state the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?”

The priest smiled and answered, “You’re in Canada now, son; it’s a local call.”

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From Marriage 2005-04-19;AKA White Wedding Dress

A fresh-faced lad, on the eve of his wedding night,
asks his mother, “Mom, why are wedding dresses white?”
The mother looks at her son and replies,
“Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.”

The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father’s opinion,
“Dad, why are wedding dresses white?”
The father looks at his son in surprise and says,
“Son, all household appliances come in white.”

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Provenance HERE

 

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