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Archive for the ‘politically incorrect’ Category

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Saw this cover-up on one of the charity tables.
Thought I’d finally read it
(As I remember many friends doing when it was published, sales @ CostCo, etc.)
and thought I’d see what the fuss was all about.

Didn’t see back cover – Romance” !!, although I already knew’EROTIC”
Thot I did not know there was an actual genre of “EROTIC ROMANCE, but then I remember ed women reading ‘bodice-rippers’ @ some point in my life.

STILL pondering what to say; NOT ambivelant….

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FROM: politically incorrect – women 2003-05-23

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.
– Lynn Lavner

Joke thanks to MjD, JFW, J&B, and…
Illustration thanks to D&V

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I was on my way to work, and getting into a fight was the farthest thing from my mind; it wasn’t even on the horizon. I was in a GREAT mood…and then…I rear-ended a car.
So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car.
Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it…he was a DWARF!
He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, “I AM NOT HAPPY”
So, I look down at him and say, “Well, which one are you then?”
….And that’s when the fight started…

Thanks to PH and…

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AKA The Horth LISperer

A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he’s sending a friend over to look at a horse.
His buddy asks, “How will I recognize him?”
“That’s easy;
he’s a Little Person with a speech impediment.”
So, the Little Person shows up, and the guy asks him if he’s looking for a male or female horse.
“A female
horth
.”
So he shows him a prized filly.
Nith lookin’ horth. Can I thee her eyeth
“?
So the guy picks up the Little Person and he gives the horse’s eyes the once over.
Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth
“?
So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse’s ears.
Nith earzth, can I see her mouf
“?
The rancher is getting pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse’s mouth. “Nice
mouf, can I see her twat
“?
Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the Little Person’s head as far as he can up the horse’s fanny, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.
The Little Person gets up, sputtering and coughing.
Perhapth I should rephrase that. Can I thee her wun
around a widdlebit“?

Thanks to JFW, J&B and PH

Little People of CANADA
The Roloff Farms Official Website
Little People, Big World

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The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope. Grumpy leads the pack
“Grumpy, my son,” says the Pope, “What can I do for you?”
Grumpy asks, “Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?”
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, “No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome.”
In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.
Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.
Grumpy turns back, “Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?”
The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, “No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe.
“This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter
Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.
Grumpy turns back and says, “Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?”
The Pope, really confused by the questions says, “I’m sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.”
The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting…“Grumpy screwed a penguin!” “Grumpy screwed a penguin!”

Thanks to J&B and…

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AKA Confucius Says…a few words of wisdom;
Confucius Talks to Men

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

Foolish man give wife grand piano,
wise man give wife upright organ.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

 

Joke thanks to D&V, JAB, J&B, MZ, PH and RNZ
Cartoon thanks to J&B and…

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this content sent by e-mail 2014-05-20

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles.Coincidentally, by chance, while checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.
So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.
Mike, Rod, and Vincey all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The reverend knew that Mike and Rod earned their living as
sales reps and were likely capable of selling some bibles but he had serious doubts about Vincey.

Vincey was just a little local farmer, who had always tended to keep to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor little Louis stuttered very badly. But, not wanting to discourage poor Louis, the reverend decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with the back seats of their cars stacked with bibles and asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday and which they did.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the reverend immediately asked Mike, “Well, Mike, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?”

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Mike replied, “Father, using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here’s the 200 dollars I collected on behalf of the church.”

“Fine job, Mike!”The reverend said, vigorously shaking his hand. “You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you.”
Turning to Rod, he asked “And Rod, how many bibles did you manage to sell for the church last week?”

Rod, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, “Reverend, I am a professional salesman and was happy to give the church the benefit of my sales expertise.Last week I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here’s 280 dollars I collected.

“The reverend responded,” that’s absolutely splendid, Rod.You are truly a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you.”
Apprehensively, the reverend turned to little Vincey and said, “And Vincey, did you manage to sell any bibles last week? “Vincey silently offered the reverend a large envelope. The reverend opened it and counted the contents.
“What is this?” the reverend exclaimed. “Vincey, there’s 3200 dollars in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week? Vincey just nodded.

That’s impossible!” both Mike and Rod said in unison. “We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could.”

“Yes, this does seem unlikely,” the reverend agreed.”I think you’d better explain how you managed to do accomplish this, Vincey.”

bible_reading_hg_clr

Vincey shrugged.”I-I-I- re-re-really do-do-don’t kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure,” he stammered.
Impatiently, Mike interrupted.”For crying out loud, Vincey, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!”
“A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa was,” Louis replied,
“W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks —o-o-o-or— wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?”

Thanks to PH and…

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