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Archive for the ‘GOD’ Category

And God said…

AKA Adam & Eve


God said … “Adam I want you to do something for me.”
Adam said, “Gladly, Lord, what do you want me to do?”
God said, “Go down into that valley.”
Adam said, “What’s a valley?”
God explained it to him.
Then God said, “Cross the river.”
Adam said, “What’s a river?”
God explained that to him, and the n said, “Go over to the hill”
Adam said, “What is a hill?”
So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.
He told Adam, “On the other side of the hill you will find a cave”
Adam said, “What’s a cave?”
God explained.
“In the cave you will find a Woman”
Adam said, “What’s a woman?”
So God explained that to him too.
Then, God said, “I want you to reproduce.”
Adam said, “How do I do that?”
God first said … under his breath, “Geez.” And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam as well.

So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman.
Then, in about five minutes, he was back.
God, his patience wearing thin, said angrily, “What is it now?”
And Adam said…”What’s a headache?”

Thanks to DM, PH and…

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Man says to God: ‘God, why did you make woman so beautiful?’
God says: ‘So you would love her.’
But God, ‘the man says, ‘why did you make her so dumb?’
God says: ‘So she would love you.’

 

 

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
-Robin Williams

 

Thanks to DMS, JFW, J&B, MZ and PH

 

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to a beautiful person

AKA Thought for the Day…
FROM: friends – the other side 2004-05-05

 

God is crazy about you.
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If sHe had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

sHe sends you flowers every spring
and a sunrise every morning.
Whenever you want to talk, sHe’ll listen.
sHe can live anywhere in the universe,
and sHe chose your heart.

God didn’t promise days without pain,
laughter without sorrow,
sun without rain,
but sHe did promise strength for the day…
comfort for the tears,
and light for the way.
If God brings you to it, sHe will bring you through it.

 

Thanks to J&B, PC, PH and…

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