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Archive for February, 2008

THIS LINK SENT 2013-DEC-28
A couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, “We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month.”
The couple agreed and after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the church.
When the pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed.
“You are back so soon… Is there a problem?” the pastor inquired.
“We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month,” the young man replied sadly.
The pastor asked him what happened.
“Well, the first week was difficult…however, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower.”
“The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain.”
“However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible…anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts.”
“One afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat.” admitted the man, shamefacedly.
The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, “You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church.”
“We know”, said the young man, hanging his head, “We’re not welcome at the local RONA either.”

 

 

Thanks to PH and…

 

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Passion

 

originally Bedtime Negotiation FROM: marriage 2006-07-14; AKA too cute

Husband: Oh, come on.
Wife: Leave me alone!
Husband: It won’t take long.
Wife: I won’t be able to sleep afterwards.
Husband: I can’t sleep without it.
Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?
Husband: Because I’m Hot.
Wife: You get hot at the darnedest times.
Husband: If you love me I wouldn’t have to beg you.
Wife: If you love me you’d be more considerate.
Husband: You don’t love me anymore.
Wife: Yes I do, but let’s forget it for tonight.
Husband: Please…come on…
Wife: All right, I’ll do it.
Husband: What’s the matter?  Need a flashlight?
Wife: I can’t find it.
Husband: Oh, for heaven’s sake, feel for it!
Wife: There!  Are you satisfied?
Husband: Oh, yes.
Wife: Is it up far enough?
Husband: Oh, that’s good.
Wife: Now go to sleep, and from now on when you want the window open, do it yourself.

 

 

Thanks to J&B, PH and…

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also seen as a ‘woman’ joke

Two gay men are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big Silver-Back Gorillas’ cage, when one man makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs him, yanks him over the fence, and takes him to his nest in the pen. There the gorilla ravishes him and makes passionate love to him [??} for about 2 hours until the beast is tranquilized, and the man taken to hospital.
His friend visits him the next day and asks,” Are you hurt…”
The patient replies, “Of course I’m hurt! He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written…!”

Thanks to MZ and…

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LUNAR ECLIPSE 2008

the moon and clouds kept playing tag all night,
and it WAS d*mn cold,
but it was worth every millisecond!

The Sudbury Star
http://www.thesudburystar.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=911667

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Princess Cruises!

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Thanks to MZ and…

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changes to 360

‘tag’ fn ‘out’ until Friday March 7

> March 7th Now it works – sometimes;
sometimes not;
sometimes on refresh…
tres annoy-ing!

 

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